Movies That Blog #5: Dracula 3000
In the year 3000!!!!!!!!!!…….Coolio is still alive, but we haven’t solved that Vampire issue just yet? For some reason if you put a bunch of people in space movies, you just cannot seem to fight the urge to put an alien, or a serial killer or even a leprechaun in the mix. Now we deal with the anemic avengers. Sad part about this is that K.O. Suggested I review this movie, But I can’t understand what I ever did to him that was this terrible.
Budget: $5.00 and a case of Swwwwweeeeett Mexican Black Tar Heroin
Payout: The extra jobs it made from people who usually develop movies to film anyway after the ones that developed this one off themselves.
3000 Things wrong with this movie [Narrowed down to about 6-7 ]
– Jason’s not to blame, he was defrosted in 2455
-“Lifeforce” did it…..better?
-“187 & Humvee” are two names that made the final cut of names
-Space Station “Demeter” explodes killing everyone at the end rather the beginning
-Cargo Specialist = Space UPS employee
-Tries to fight the urge to say “Deebo” the entire movie and he outlives Coolio, Da Fuq?!
-The future can’t deal with shit people dealt with fine int the mid 90’s
-Listening to “Fantastic Voyage” made me remember Coolio’s a cool guy
-No Valid Rappers were harmed during the making of this movie
-Space Vampires don’t do too well in Space
10– Dick Breath
Dracula 3000= 9/10
-Doom…..yeah, the one with The Rock
“Permanent Un-fixable Scratch on all remaining coppies of this DVD, and the original used for viewing during Death row Executions”
……Go away, i needs to rethink my life choices