Movies That Suck

Movies That Blog #5: Dracula 3000


dracula-3000

Help

In the year 3000!!!!!!!!!!…….Coolio is still alive, but we haven’t solved that Vampire issue just yet? For some reason if you put a bunch of people in space movies, you just cannot seem to fight the urge to put an alien, or a serial killer or even a leprechaun in the mix. Now we deal with the anemic avengers. Sad part about this is that K.O. Suggested I review this movie, But I can’t understand what I ever did to him that was this terrible.

 

Budget:  $5.00 and a case of Swwwwweeeeett Mexican Black Tar Heroin

Payout: The extra jobs it made from people who usually develop movies to film anyway after the ones that developed this one off themselves.

3000 Things wrong with this movie [Narrowed down to about 6-7 ]

– Jason’s not to blame, he was defrosted in 2455

-“Lifeforce” did it…..better?

-“187 & Humvee” are two names that made the final cut of names

-Space Station “Demeter” explodes killing everyone at the end rather the beginning

-Cargo Specialist = Space UPS employee

-Tries to fight the urge to say “Deebo” the entire movie and he outlives Coolio, Da Fuq?!

-The future can’t deal with shit people dealt with fine int the mid 90’s

 

Silver lining

-Listening to “Fantastic Voyage” made me remember Coolio’s a cool guy

-No Valid Rappers were harmed during the making of this movie

-Space Vampires don’t do too well in Space

 

 

1-10

1-Dracula 1000

10– Dick Breath

 

Dracula 3000= 9/10

 

Alternatives

-Alien 2

-Doom…..yeah, the one with The Rock

-Demerol

 

Judgement:

“Permanent Un-fixable Scratch on all remaining coppies of this DVD, and the original used for viewing during Death row Executions”

 

……Go away, i needs to rethink my life choices

 

 

AD Aries Lounge Radio

419190_10150835480173942_1991433061_n
Our Hip Hop Talk Radio show hosted by 3 funny guys from Baltimore, MD!! Every Wednesday 9pm-12am they talk about entertainment news, top 10 Billboard albums of the week, spin the best in new music, and much more!! Take sure you set your alarms, calendars, add an event and tell your friends!! Aries Lounge Radio!!

Click Here

2 Comments on Movies That Blog #5: Dracula 3000

Leave a Comment